Top Ten signs your horse has driven you to madness

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10. You spend more on your horse than you do on your kids

9. Mud and manure on your clothing are considered, in your mind, a cute accessory

8. You love to cuddle with your horse and resent all the clean up time required for your spouse

7. Your instructor, your family and your dogs are afraid of your horse, but you continue to defend him as you’re brushing dirt off your backside, treating bite and kick wounds and focusing on tomorrow’s plan to “reach” him

6. Dates for your wedding are selected by choosing months that present the least favorable riding conditions

5. Finding and buying quality hay takes more time and money than what you choose to eat and what you spend on yourself for the year

4. You collaborate with your horse and bite and kick at your peers

3. Time is always scheduled for horse care, but seldom available for vacations or social time

2. You’re too exhausted at the end of the day to carry on a conversation, but can still summon the energy to ride

And the number sign your horse has driven you to madness:

1. He watches you chuckling as you jump the course, do the tricks, demonstrate the lesson and perform for his education as he’s entertained by your compliance.

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