Sometimes saying goodbye to your horse is the right thing to do

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When I was a kid, I had a pony. She was my second. The first was banned from Pony Club games and ultimately riding where he was boarded. We donated him to an elite private school (would have enjoyed seeing the first day they threw one of the little darlings aboard).

Bittersweet was incredible. She took care of me as we spent hours doing dumb things in the woods and streams and sand dunes (our moniker – this was actually a privately owned, heavily posted quarry) and on busy streets. We enjoyed shenanigans on the trails including swimming, jumping, riding (sliding) down the immense sand hills, traversing roads with dangerous traffic, buying ice cream cones with our ponies in tow.

It was a different time. Parents trusted we’d stay safe (OK, maybe they trusted our ponies to be smarter than we were). There weren’t abduction concerns or landowner litigation threats that have most privately owned property posted “no trespassing” today. We asked permission of the farmers to cross, who gladly allowed us to relish long rides through thousands of acres unsupervised.

Sadly, the day came when I outgrew Bittersweet. For years, I kept her (for my younger sister – not interested in riding). My parents had bought a small parcel of land, so there weren’t the concerns and costs associated with boarding two.

Ultimately, I realized it wasn’t fair to Bittersweet or the local kid population to hold onto her as a pet. Accepting she needed a new home was a hard lesson and an even harder decision, but it was the right thing to do.

Many years later while teaching at a riding stable after graduating from college, I learned she was still foxhunting. She had to be pushing 30. It was gratifying to know she was still loving life as part of a human/horse pair.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is let go.

Rehoming a horse

If you’ve outgrown your steed, have less time to spend with him or face other life circumstances changing your ability to lavish attention or provide a good home, consider alternatives. Finding another to cherish your friend with hour each day may be the kindest sacrifice you make.

It’s not always possible to place your horse with someone you know. There are options and concerns when dealing with strangers, but there are ways you can influence a great fit.

When I recently sold my New York farm, I had buyers as far away as Oklahoma and Minnesota. It takes time and an understanding of your horse’s tendencies, but a good assessment process works. Admittedly, I did make one horrible decision with two horses that went to New England. It’s one of those things I regretted terribly, but the horses were gone before I realized the mistake and ultimately had to let it go.

Twelve others found ideal homes with people who fell in love with horses able to be what they envisioned. We stay in touch. Most feel comfortable contacting me if challenges arise or their life circumstances change. In fact, Midge needs a new home, so if you’re looking for a handy, little, smart and gusty mare, contact me.

It’s critical to understand your horse’s nature and talents. This can be tough with young stock (we had a number of babies), but not as hard as you may think. You can tell a lot about what will and won’t work for a horse by watching him. Is he brave in the pasture or heartless? Is she out of a strong alpha mare with demonstrated “convince me” behaviors? Does he learn quickly and enjoy training or seem more timid and concerned? Breeding counts too. Your Welsh pony probably isn’t going to be a good fit as a preliminary eventing prospect.

Finding the right human for your horse

rehoming a horse Once you decide it’s time to say goodbye to your horse, there are some easy ways to spread the word.

Work your network: Horse people know horse people. Talk to your vet, blacksmith, trainer, trail riding companions, fellow competitors, trucker, tack shop owner, hay guy, grain supplier and friends. They may know someone who’s an ideal fit.

Social Media: It’s easier than ever to reach people out of your immediate circle. Be careful here – people don’t always present honestly. A “friend” doesn’t mean someone’s vouching for them.

Advertise: Surprisingly, Horse Clicks was the most effective for our stock. You’re not going to sell a Grand Prix competitor here, but I was surprised at the quality and knowledge of buyers surfing this site. There are many similar (some free, some not) options, but we didn’t get buyers from elsewhere.

Breed Associations: If you’re horse is papered, reaching out to group members who enjoy the breed qualities your horse has is smart. Small breed associations may have more sellers than buyers, but you only need one perfect fit. These organization often have newsletters or correspondences that permit advertising or free member news.

Have smart conversations before you finalize a sale (or gift). Most Halcyon Acres horses were bought sight unseen. New owners felt connected with the horse before the trailer arrived because we spent a lot of time discussing needs and expectations to ensure the right horse went to the right home. It wasn’t just buyers assessing me – I made the decision not to proceed in a number of cases. It’s important that both horse and human are a good fit for anticipated riding demands and living conditions.

As for Bittersweet – she went to a fellow Pony Clubber. She changed member hands many times, but was happiest with a constant rider companion. As a perfect kid-safe horse for riders at any level, her life was better after each hard decision to let her get back to kid caretaker role she wanted.

If the cost of keeping the horse you love is an issue for you, come back to the blog next week for easy ideas on how to reduce expenses.

Nanette Levin


Nanette Levin is a writer, author and equestrian specializing in young horse training and horses with issues. Look for Horse Sense & Cents titles on Amazon, Audible and other major online retailers.

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