Horse humor – add jokes for us all to enjoy

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Pro Equine Grooms did a fun feature (apparently four years ago, but I just saw the repost recently) with a starter question “What’s your best bad joke about horses?” Liv Gude offered her horse  humor – “A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says ‘why the long face’?”. What resulted were some hilarious replies to the challenge. Below are two of my favorites.

Provided by Vickie Bullock Cozzens

Champion Jockey on a New Horse

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens–the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me–it’s this bloody horse. What is he–deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf–he’s BLIND!”

Horse Jumping Joke

QUESTION: Why can horses jump so high?

Find horse humor, young horse training tips and more at http://HorseSenseAndCents.comANSWER: They have frogs in their feet.

I’ll jump in the ring

I suppose, although Liv did say “bad horse jokes”, since the one she provided didn’t do much for me, I should offer the lamest one I could find for you all to complain about.

QUESTION: What did the horse say when it fell?

ANSWER: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!” Source

BUT – if you really want to smile, revisit this oldie but goodie (still haven’t found a source for this hilarious in its truths translation list for horse seller terms) Horse Sense and Cents Humor post.

Will you join the horse humor herd?

How about you? Have any horse jokes you’d like to share? Please help get the laughter galloping along in the comments below. Let’s have some fun with this. I’ll find another horse humor tidbit to share to for each one provided in the comments. Also, please consider sharing this blog post (easy clickable icons to the left) to get your friends playing along too (tag them if you’re feeling Alpha ;-)).

Nanette Levin


Nanette Levin is a writer, author and equestrian specializing in young horse training and horses with issues. Look for Horse Sense & Cents titles on Amazon, Audible and other major online retailers.

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